The Soul of a Woman

“Boss I is tired.”

I was lamenting this morning as I dragged myself out of bed. Dang girl, you still tired?  Why don’t you get yourself together? Why you depressed amid a pity party. Remember, we don’t hold pity meetings anymore.  We are whole, liberated and one “bad ass woman!  As the old tapes of apology and contrition played in my head, I heard the voice of my love, “Take care of yourself. Not only for you but because I love and need you. Go do something for yourself. Something that women do when they do stuff for themselves.”

I smile because I am loved by a REAL man who may not know what we women do to feel better and take care of ourselves but recognizes when the soul of a woman needs to be fed and cared for.  I leaned into the side of the wash machine and sighed. Then I heard a new voice. I had heard it before but usually silenced it because superwomen never fold and never quit.

The voice took a deep breath and launched into the trail of illumination and truth.  Why are you treating yourself so harshly?  Your brain played a trick on you. Your mind tripped you out into thinking you made the respite trip that has been postponed. For you see, the trip that had been planned had to be cancelled.  Real life intruded once again.  You did not get the rest you needed.  You continue to pound on weary bones, eyes, emotions and mind. Not only are you exhausted. you are more exhausted than last week.

Ah ha…the truth really does set you free. I am limping along holding myself together with duct tape and bailing wire praying for one more day of strength and lucidity. I am not a happy camper.  My superwoman suit is way too tight.  Like a too tight bra, I can’t breathe.  God hold me.  Don’t let me go.  Don’t let me fall. Carry me along the way. Lead me to the distant shore and make a moment for me to sit beside the still waters and replenish my soul and lighten my load. Today I am still tired but hope springs eternal for a brighter day.

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