Moving Through Change Without Anesthesia

As we go through our times of transition and change, we pray and seek the way. We move through without the crutches of our past.  No anesthesia…no drugs, no alcohol, no sexual persuasions, no food.   It is harsh and challenges our weakened systems.  For me the army has always marched on its stomach.  As the old folks say, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – a mine too, in the past.  Certain foods are called comfort foods.   Yet, we make the decision to omit and withdraw from the main thing we used to rely on in times of change and struggle.

We pay the price.  Our minds say rough times ahead.  Change is coming.  I am facing things I don’t want to face.  I need a fix.  A panacea, something to numb the pain.  Something to send me to oblivion; if I must be deprived of nirvana.  We can’t and won’t surrender to the numbing effects of our triggers and comforts whether food or other things.  Our mind says to our body…I will force you to bow to my will.  I will make you sick.  I will purge you, drain you and wrack your bodies with pain.  I will seek to bend you to my will.  You will live the broken defeated life that has always been.

But, in the early morning dawning I lift my weary head from my pillow.  I am wracked with pain and stomach and bowels are all aflutter.  Nothing in my system can be trusted.  Will I ever feel whole again?  I have set my eyes on the summit and I see dawning’s light, I smell the water of the chilly Jordan.  I feel the Spirit of God surrounding me, holding me; whispering to me.  Hold on just a little bit longer.

Like a child about to break through the cocoon of their mother’s birth canal we feel the pressure and the pain.  We wonder as we see first light.  A light we have never seen before.  Oh my, what is that?  We want to back up and retreat.  The pressure to be born, to erupt and be expelled into this new environment of sights, sounds, people and situations will not allow this.  The door has slammed behind us, the foot is at our backside…we must go forward or die.

A man asked Jesus, “What must I do to be saved?”  Jesus replied, “You must be born again.”  The man responded quizzically, “how can a man re-enter his mother’s womb?  It is impossible.”  Jesus replied, “first time born of woman, this time born of the Spirit.”   Born again to the newness of life.  Born again to a refreshing new way of living.  Born again.  Starting over as a newborn babe.  Born again standing naked before God as fresh as Adam and Eve before the sun.  Born again to begin anew.  To get some stuff right.  To make mistakes new but born again with the time left.   To repent, replace, redo and relive with new eyes, new hearts, new lovers and friends.  Battle scarred, weary and worn hearts with lacerations pressing past new rejections and fresh scorn.  Rising to new heights new joys and new hopes…we peer from between the birth veil to see a new light…a chance to be once again.

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